Growing up, my very favorite Christmas show wasn’t any of the big favorites – It’s a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, A Christmas Carol, or any of the uncountable Bing Crosby movies – it was, unashamedly, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. And by that – obviously dating myself – I mean the original cartoon version, narrated by the epic voice of Boris Karloff. This is a true Christmas classic. Who doesn’t sing along to ‘I wouldn’t touch you with a thirty nine and a half foot pole’ with joy in their hearts?
I will admit to having to turn away when the Grinch’s heart grew ten sizes that day and wonder why he let that little brat Cindy Lou Who carve the roast beast. I prefer the grinchy Grinch with garlic in his soul to the sappy one. To this day, our Christmas decorations include the requisite grinchy elements – evidence of which is herein provided. Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas, but the Grinch remains my favorite.
We recently came across an article showing what states like which Christmas movies best (https://www.newsweek.com/most-popular-christmas-movies-each-state-1992390) but were left unsatisfied by the state level detail, even though they actually spent money to survey people. As it turns out, the original research article was more interesting, as it delved into the key question we all have: is Die Hard legitimately a Christmas movie? Nearly 41% say yes, but with considerable variation from a low of 17% in Mississippi and Louisiana to a whopping 76% in North Dakota (https://todayshomeowner.com/blog/guides/favorite-christmas-movie-by-state/).
So where are my grinchy people? Because you need to know, we took a set of Panorama coded MRI-Simmons variables so we could tell you, and constructed an index using them:
- Positive influences
- % of adults who watch the Cartoon Network, since as brilliant as Jim Carey is, the cartoon version is still far superior
- % adults who value a simple life
- % adults who are self-reliant
- Negative influences
- % of adults who admit to regularly watching Hallmark movies
- % of adults who are economic optimists
- % of adults who are vegetarians, vegans, or semi-vegetarians, since we surmise that they will not be keen on watching Cindy Lou carve that roast beast
- % of adults who are healthy eaters
- % of adults who are attention seekers
We tabulated the results and smoothed them using a 3 mile radius filter. Accurate? Absolutely. Scientific? Not so’s you’d notice. But we shall take some liberties at this time of year.
Want to find your grinchy neighbors? Here is where they are at:
My people? The grinchy ones? Definitely in the south from Texas to the Carolinas. And not in the northeast, which is fine, because the weather doesn’t suit me.
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